...wherein a girl packs up her dissertation and moves to the Pacific Northwest to learn what it means to build a life as a someone's partner, finish a dissertation, and make a life and home in Seattle, WA .

Monday, November 21, 2011

I Struggle....

Struggling is not one of those things any of us really enjoys  owning up to or talking about.  More and more, however, as a writer - a writer of a dissertation to complete my Ph.D. - talking about the struggles is important because the writing and editing is such a solitary activity.  So too as of late is the procrastination - which I don't condone (insert finger waggling here)!

This morning my darling partner sent me a link to Harvard Business Review articles on achievement - "The Trouble with Bright Kids."  I guess one of the reasons I am so screwed up and why I am struggling so much with the completion of the project, at least according to the HBR, is that I was praised improperly: I was praised for my accomplishment not my effort.

Yup. That seems about right.  Certainly, when you figure that in terms of effort I am struggling with that each day more so than the writing (although I guess the two are indelibly linked).  People are pleased with the finished product -- once it gets finished, but ignore the toils along the way thinking that somehow 250+ pages just appear.  They don't.  Trust me.

I can't go back and fix my 5th grade self or scold my 5th grade teacher whose name I can't even remember at this point -- oh, but if I did, there surely would be an email to you this morning! All I can do is try writing, try working on those 20 pages that I promised myself I would work on today, and be happy that I tried.  Well, there is more than that, but we will go with baby steps for now.   That and get out of my pjs...