I Struggle....

Struggling is not one of those things any of us really enjoys  owning up to or talking about.  More and more, however, as a writer - a writer of a dissertation to complete my Ph.D. - talking about the struggles is important because the writing and editing is such a solitary activity.  So too as of late is the procrastination - which I don't condone (insert finger waggling here)!

This morning my darling partner sent me a link to Harvard Business Review articles on achievement - "The Trouble with Bright Kids."  I guess one of the reasons I am so screwed up and why I am struggling so much with the completion of the project, at least according to the HBR, is that I was praised improperly: I was praised for my accomplishment not my effort.

Yup. That seems about right.  Certainly, when you figure that in terms of effort I am struggling with that each day more so than the writing (although I guess the two are indelibly linked).  People are pleased with the finished product -- once it gets finished, but ignore the toils along the way thinking that somehow 250+ pages just appear.  They don't.  Trust me.

I can't go back and fix my 5th grade self or scold my 5th grade teacher whose name I can't even remember at this point -- oh, but if I did, there surely would be an email to you this morning! All I can do is try writing, try working on those 20 pages that I promised myself I would work on today, and be happy that I tried.  Well, there is more than that, but we will go with baby steps for now.   That and get out of my pjs...

So its almost been two months

Did I intend to let this blog sit fallow for so long? Nope.  Did I expect the move and adjustment to my new life to just go all to hell? Nope.  But, well, life and plans and contracts with movers and auto transporters seem to go all sorts of crazy.  So here I am two months later in my new life and home and feeling pretty settled for the first time in a while.

It has been pretty crazy overall, but I am happy.  Knowing what I know now, would I do it all over again?  Of course, 100%, definitely! This move has brought me balance and it has brought me even closer to the most amazing partner ever.  He truly is the best friend and partner in crime a girl could dream of. Or, well, at least this girl.

More on this new life later.

No U-Turns

A little over a month from now, life as I know it will radically change.  Or, rather, one can argue, that changed happened two months ago. This being the first ubiquitous blog entry is to declare that yup, here is the place from which change may be observed.

These days it is all about cleaning out the closet, pairing down, readying for a garage sale, and placing my life in boxes as I get ready for a new life in a new city.